Finding Beauty in Isolation

Quarantining…

Since starting the race, this will be my second quarantine I have had to embark on. Though the last one I quarantined with my Fuente team, this one is much different.. I am in solitude. Yea, definitely not something I wanted to experience on my last week in Honduras, but it happened… and I have no control over it. 

It can be hard. Emotionally and mentally it’s daunting. I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t shed a tear or two while being in here. I can be an introvert at times, and do need it to rebalance, but when I looked at the possibility of this week, I was scared at its vastness. I saw darkness, and I feared I would fall into its bad ole’ traps. 

There are things about solitude that are not appealing. 

First, being alone.. and if its Covid related, you’re looking at a minimum of seven days of isolation. Second, the gift that comes with being alone… your thoughts. And third, just dealing with its physical toll, exhaustion. All of these things are possible traps the enemy wants us to fall into during solitude. They are so real, and I have been there. When you feel like you are living Groundhog Day everyday, it can be depressing and thoughts can spiral into a glooming vortex. 

So yea, most people want to run the other way when they hear Covid “isolation.”

But can I implore you to see the possible beauty in it? 

I walked into this thing with a mindset of fear, dreading what could come. I hate sitting in my emotions longer than I need to, and I didn’t want to have to do it all week. However, in the graveling, I found that I actually really needed it. Behind the smoke screen, behind the enemy’s illusions, there was a Father who knew my heart and the exhaustion I was carrying. My heart was depleted. I’ve had so much transition in the last six months from switching roles three times to moving from country to country.. my heart just didn’t catch up. And apart from world race things, some of me was still back home, mourning the slow and debilitating diagnosis my grandma has been walking through for quite some time. I was just really running on empty on all levels without even recognizing it, and the enemy saw it… and ran with it. 

But God was already three steps ahead, ordaining what this time would be. 

I drifted, as we do sometimes. We are human too. But I am grateful that I serve a God who knows what I need before I even ask or see it for myself. Like so many biblical characters, isolation with God was a necessity for realignment and growth. Let’s take a look at Moses, for example, he spent significant time with God and through that was able to lead well, to love well, and see God’s plan for what it is. Isolation gave me an opportunity to pause, reflect, and be filled by my wellspring before stepping into the final stretch of my race, the biggest part of my race. I want to lead well for my squad, and I can’t do that with an empty cup. 

So isolation was exactly what was planned.. for the good, for His plans & for His purposes. 

I am not discrediting the pain isolation can have, but I do ask you to look past the curtain and look for a Father waiting for you to dine with Him… to grow you, not to harm you. To bring you back to alignment with a steadfast mind and perfect peace. 

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…” Genesis 50:20