Wow, this past week… where do I even begin?

My mind has gone in a million directions since I stepped off the World Race campus this past Friday. Apart from finally figuring out an efficient way to bucket shower in my mind, every other thought has not fully been processed. I’m picturing the inside of my brain looking like the interior of my room… MESSY. I see every corner cluttered with thoughts, emotions (lots of them), and memories that have no semblance of order, and I honestly don’t know what to organize first.

I keep asking myself, how do I put them in their rightful place? And even a better question.. where the heck do they go?

Each thought, emotion, and memory of this week is so valued. From meeting my amazing team to Jesus binding up wounds from my past, I can see they should be put away for keep sake. My human side wants AMANDA to put them in their safe boxes. My flesh wants everything to be processed and tucked away. It’s how things should be done, right?

LOL wrong.

Bringing messiness in front of the Lord is just as okay as bringing order in front of Him. There are no qualifications in the presence of Jesus. And as you marvel at the sacrifice for grace, it was messy. Jesus was mutilated for the sake of grace. Every ounce of blood He had, He gave so we could have such a precious gift that would alter the repercussions of sin.

Jesus wasn’t afraid to get messy then, so what makes me think He would be afraid to get messy now?

I think it is time to give Jesus the permission He deserves to take all of the lessons and memories from training camp and harvest them. Instead of allowing them to sit in box to collect dust, Jesus wants them to produce fruit… not just for myself, but for my team and the people we will be ministering to. Every moment of training camp has been cherished, and I need to allow Jesus to celebrate in those moments too because He was the One who unified us in the first place. H squad is family because of Jesus.

So in the meantime, as everything is still cluttered in my mind, I am going to bask at the precious memories made at training camp with my Father and trust they will be sowed into healthy soil for January’s launch onto the mission field, wherever that is!

And to my cherished H squad, thank you for making training camp 2020 an adventure I will hold close to my heart forever.