Wow, this past week… where do I even begin?
My mind has gone in a million directions since I stepped off the World Race campus this past Friday. Apart from finally figuring out an efficient way to bucket shower in my mind, every other thought has not fully been processed. I’m picturing the inside of my brain looking like the interior of my room… MESSY. I see every corner cluttered with thoughts, emotions (lots of them), and memories that have no semblance of order, and I honestly don’t know what to organize first.
I keep asking myself, how do I put them in their rightful place? And even a better question.. where the heck do they go?
Each thought, emotion, and memory of this week is so valued. From meeting my amazing team to Jesus binding up wounds from my past, I can see they should be put away for keep sake. My human side wants AMANDA to put them in their safe boxes. My flesh wants everything to be processed and tucked away. It’s how things should be done, right?
LOL wrong.
Bringing messiness in front of the Lord is just as okay as bringing order in front of Him. There are no qualifications in the presence of Jesus. And as you marvel at the sacrifice for grace, it was messy. Jesus was mutilated for the sake of grace. Every ounce of blood He had, He gave so we could have such a precious gift that would alter the repercussions of sin.
Jesus wasn’t afraid to get messy then, so what makes me think He would be afraid to get messy now?
I think it is time to give Jesus the permission He deserves to take all of the lessons and memories from training camp and harvest them. Instead of allowing them to sit in box to collect dust, Jesus wants them to produce fruit… not just for myself, but for my team and the people we will be ministering to. Every moment of training camp has been cherished, and I need to allow Jesus to celebrate in those moments too because He was the One who unified us in the first place. H squad is family because of Jesus.
So in the meantime, as everything is still cluttered in my mind, I am going to bask at the precious memories made at training camp with my Father and trust they will be sowed into healthy soil for January’s launch onto the mission field, wherever that is!
And to my cherished H squad, thank you for making training camp 2020 an adventure I will hold close to my heart forever.
There are those moments in life that make so much sense that you almost feel as if you’ve already lived them. A lot like de ja vous. Scripture reminds us that the steps of the righteous are ordered by God. Long before you knew any of this would come to fruition~ He had already set things in place for you ~ and as you have learned to surrender daily to His leading ~ it all starts to fall into place. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it. For His glory for His honor. Nothing is wasted before the Lord. May you always stay in His perfect and constant will for your life my sweet girl. Love you to infinity and beyond!
QUAGGGGG this is soooo good!! it reminds me of a verse I have been meditating on lately. Isaiah 61:3 // “They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” If we let God do the planting, we will be strong, deeply rooted oaks and when people look at us, they see the splendor of God. beyond excited to do life with you this year and see all the fruit that will come from your surrender to God’s planting! praying for you, gal!
Love how you describe the mess, and how God is ok with our mess!
He is capable of transforming the mess into marvelous!
God is so good!!
MATTHEW FROM LIFE GROUP I support you sister in christ , ill help out as much as I can ! You have a beautiful soul and an amazing love for God the father and his son the name above all names JESUS CHRIST like I do ! It is amazing to meet a person as driven as you are to spread the gospel you inspire me ! You are always in my prayers! GOD BLESS you On your journey! Love an best wishes Matthew
Thank you so much Matt! God bless you!